1 letter ago...

No matter how difficult things get, thinking about you makes me feel even a little bit better. I can be standing out in 20 degree cold in short sleeves and jeans, but just a fleeting thought of maybe a hug from you makes me immediately warm. Very much, I could say that you have made, and continue to leave, a lasting impression on my life. I don’t think I could ever forget you, especially since I catch myself thinking about you over the course of my day. I anticipate nightfall just so I can talk with you again.
You’re a fantastic person. You’ve got an awesome personality! You are caring and incredibly sweet, and you always seem to make me laugh. Talking to you is a main highlight of my day. I love weekends, especially, because what could be better than staying up until 3 in the morning talking to you?
As happy as you make me, though, I do fear one thing. The more I find myself attached to you, the more, I think, I’m hurting myself. You shine a light on me when you talk to me. Though, when I’m sad, I know you can’t be here to hug me, or tell me it’s okay, or make me feel better. As much as I get a positive effect from you, it’s the negative one I fear. Sometimes, in knowing that I want a hug from you but can’t get one makes me worse, and I’ll catch myself teary-eyed. I’ll immediately think “why would he want some silly girl that sits in her room alone and cries all the time? That’s no fun…” and stop them. Sometimes, I just wonder alone if you love me as much as I love you, or if I’m just yearning out of my league. I can’t help but think that there’s nothing special about me (I’m not cute or pretty, and I’m not really smart, not anymore. I’m not athletic, and I don’t have ‘magical powers’, or anything that I’m especially good at. So, what does that leave?) but I wish you could see something in me and admire me anyway. As much as I wish you happiness, I want you to feel a twinge of sadness when I’m away. I know that when I don’t see you, even for a day, I feel like I’ve gone for 3 days without food: empty, unfulfilled. Do you feel for me, too, or am I just dreaming? You feel something towards me, but what is it? I want to know, but I’m also really scared to learn.
I’m tired, and this all makes my head spin just thinking about it. All you need to know is that, for a while now, I’ve loved you, still love you, and might possibly always love you.
I wish you loved me, too…

Me